Why Do I think of Myself as A Cynic

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"Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one rascal less in the world". -Thomas Carlyle

In a world where the culture of "el vivo vive del bobo y el bobo de papá y mamá" prevails, it's not hard to see why I might consider myself a cynic. This saying, which roughly translates to "the smart one lives off the fool, and the fool lives off mom and dad," encapsulates a mindset that is one of my biggest pet peeves. I have a deep-seated aversion to those who constantly blame everything but themselves for their circumstances—those who lament, "boo ho, poor me" while pointing fingers at their parents, the weather, or society at large.

I was raised on the premise that if you want something, you go get it. There was no waiting to see if it would fall from the sky. For me, no one owed me anything; that meant complete freedom. Growing up, I saw too much of the contrary, and even today, people seem content to bemoan their fate without taking any steps to change it. This pervasive attitude feeds my cynicism.

I grew up in a coastal city in northern Colombia, where the culture often mirrored the mentality -among other things I've come to disdain. Yet, amid this environment, my mother emerged as my hero. She was the embodiment of integrity and honesty. Her actions taught me the value of hard work and the futility of expecting handouts from anyone. She was a woman ahead of her time, instilling in me principles that seem almost alien in today's world.

While I love my dad, I can't say he is my hero in the same way. My mother demonstrated what it means to be self-reliant and steadfast in one's values. From her, I learned that life's rewards come to those who earn them, not those who sit and wait for them to be handed out.  

One of the aspects I dislike most is the entitled mentality, where people want things for free or believe that those who have them should automatically give to those who do not have them. Don't get me wrong, I am a big giver. I believe in generosity, but I prefer to teach someone how to fish rather than simply handing out fish. My mother used to say in Spanish, "Nadie sabe por dónde le llueve el agua al Molino," which means "No one knows where the water will rain down on the mill." This saying emphasizes the unpredictability of life and the necessity of being prepared and self-sufficient. It teaches that relying on others can be as uncertain as waiting for rain to fall in the right place; it's far better to cultivate one's resources and resilience.

This upbringing has profoundly shaped my worldview. I often feel like I'm from the wrong planet, an outsider in a society that too frequently celebrates victimhood and entitlement over accountability and resilience. My cynicism isn't born of bitterness but frustration with a culture that seems to have lost its way, a culture that too often forgets that progress is made by those who take responsibility for their own lives.

So yes, I sometimes think of myself as a cynic, more like a skeptic based on my life experiences. But it's a cynicism grounded in believing we can and should do better; It's a call to return to the values of hard work, self-reliance, and integrity—values that my mother lived by and passed down to me. In a world where the "el vivo vive del bobo y el bobo de papá y mamá" mentality still thrives, I will continue to hold on to the lessons she taught me, ever the cynic and believer in personal responsibility.

Recognizing the Strength in Humility and Lifelong Learning

 “People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don’t know each other; they don’t know each other because they have not communicated with each other.” -Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

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I started in the medical field in 2007 and have experienced many roles and responsibilities. My journey, from obtaining a Bachelor of Science in Nursing in 2014 to earning a Master’s Degree in Nursing Education and a Post-Master’s Degree as a Family Nurse Practitioner, has been both challenging and rewarding. I have been a nurse for ten years now, but before that, I was a stress tech working for a busy cardiology practice; then, I moved to work as an EMT while working on my BSN, slowly starting my career as an RN in the emergency department. I could also cross-train as a PACU nurse and do both simultaneously, serve in the ER as needed, and do pre-op, post-op, and PACU, all while studying to become a nurse practitioner later and raising a family. 

Since the summer of 2020, I’ve proudly served as a Nurse Practitioner, a role that has solidified my belief in the value of kindness, continuous learning, and humility. For instance, my willingness to learn from my mistakes and from others has helped me improve my patient care and communication skills. This has enhanced my professional growth and fostered a more collaborative and respectful work environment. Although I feel this is a daily learning experience, one of my life's goals is to continue to improve my communication skills. 

I am a lifelong learner, constantly immersing myself in the role of a student. This commitment to learning is a professional necessity and a personal passion that brings me immense joy. The process of acquiring new knowledge and skills is a path I willingly embrace, and I hope to inspire others to do the same. This openness to learning, sometimes leading to a perception of being a know-it-all, is rooted in a genuine interest in engaging with the world around me rather than asserting superiority.

In my interactions with colleagues, I deeply respect their expertise and roles. Each individual brings a unique set of strengths and areas of expertise. However, it’s disheartening to observe, at times, how some individuals feel a sense of superiority based on their experience or education. This hierarchy can be detrimental, as it overlooks the value of each person's expertise. Just because one person excels in one area does not diminish the value of another’s expertise in a different domain. It's important to remember that we all have something valuable to contribute.

Humility and humbleness are often misunderstood concepts. Humility does not imply a failure to recognize our achievements but acknowledging our fallibility. It means accepting and learning from our mistakes and listening to others when necessary. On the other hand, humbleness is a more outward expression of humility, often seen in our interactions with others. It’s about understanding that no matter how much we know, there is always room for growth and improvement.

In the spirit of humility, I often remind myself and others not to mistake kindness for weakness. Kindness is a strength that fosters collaboration and understanding. It’s a quality that should be cherished and respected, not exploited. By valuing kindness, we can create an environment where everyone feels appreciated and respected. For instance, showing kindness in our interactions with colleagues can lead to better teamwork and more effective patient care.

As we navigate our professional and personal lives, let’s remember the importance of humility, continuous learning, and respect for one another’s unique contributions. These values enhance our lives and enrich the communities and fields in which we work. Ultimately, it’s not just about what we achieve but how we achieve it, with kindness and humility guiding our way. This reassurance and guidance can help us all strive for excellence in our work, and I hope it inspires you to do the same.

Behind a window

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by Rosabel Zohfeld

Behind a window, behind a curtain's fold, 

A man, a woman, a husband, a wife,

a mother, a father,

 a grandpa, a grandma, 

Watch silently as their loved one ascends, 

Rising to the occasion where destiny blends.

Through challenging moments, they stood steadfast and true, 

Guiding with wisdom, as only loved ones do,

 through thin and thick, for better or for worse, 

They helped them shine, and their love is an eternal verse.

In quiet admiration, their hearts beat in rhyme, 

Witnessing triumph forged in the furnace of time, 

For love knows no bounds, distance, or blur;

they cheer from afar, a constellation's allure.

Behind that window, behind that gentle veil,

is a family's bond, an unwavering tale of support, 

hope and dreams unfolding as they watch their dear ones,

brave and bold.

The Beauty of Life's Little Details

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In a world that constantly pushes us to "see the bigger picture," it's easy to overlook the intricate beauty of life's little details. We are often so consumed by grand achievements and long-term goals that we forget the profound significance of small, everyday victories. This perspective is especially crucial when considering the lives of those with disabilities. For them, the seemingly insignificant tasks many take for granted become monumental accomplishments.

Take, for instance, my 8-year-old son. Recently, he mastered the art of tying his shoes. At first glance, this might seem like an ordinary milestone that many children achieve at a younger age. However, my son was diagnosed with a neurological condition that makes such tasks far more challenging. Although I'm not ready to fully disclose his diagnosis, I invite you to look up "agenesis of the corpus callosum" if you're curious. Understanding this condition might offer insight into the significance of my son's achievement.

We often need to pay more attention to the complexity and effort behind mundane activities. Most of us effortlessly get out of bed each morning, brush our teeth, get dressed, and head to work. For many, driving a car is second nature, a skill learned long ago and now performed automatically. But for individuals with disabilities, these tasks can represent significant hurdles, requiring immense perseverance and resilience to overcome.

Such small victories remind us of our humanity. They ground us in the present, urging us to appreciate the here and now. In our fast-paced lives, where we're constantly chasing after the next big thing, it's easy to forget to live in the moment. We become so preoccupied with future successes that we miss the joys and triumphs of today.

My son's journey to tying his shoes serves as a potent reminder that life is made up of these small details. Each step he took towards mastering this task was a testament to his determination and strength. The smile and excitement on my child's face as he achieved something so simple for many was priceless. These little moments, these tiny victories, make life rich and meaningful.

So, the next time you're tempted to dismiss a small achievement as trivial, take a moment to consider the effort and perseverance behind it. Recognize the beauty in the details and appreciate the significance of each step forward, no matter how small. Life isn't just about the grand achievements; it's about the countless little moments that make those significant victories possible. Embracing this perspective enriches our lives and fosters a deeper understanding and appreciation for the journeys of those around us.

Why Neurology? A Journey of Intrigue and Discovery

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I remember vividly asking a fourth-year medical student why he chose neurology as his specialty. It was his first time attending our neurology clinical rounding's, and his answer reminded me of the very question I faced during my interview when transitioning from primary care to neurology. There must always be a reason for our choices, a "why" that drives us. When asked this question, I often respond with, "Do you really want to know?" or, "Do you want the short answer or the long answer?" The short answer is simple: I like it. The longer answer, however, is rooted in a deep fascination and personal journey.

So why did I chose neurology?

Reason number one: I am intrigued by the brain. The brain is the most complex organ in the human body, and its mysteries captivate me. Its capacity for thought, emotion, and control over every function of our bodies is nothing short of miraculous. Every day in neurology presents a new puzzle, challenge, and opportunity to learn.

Reason number two: I have a personal history of neurological conditions. A close family member was diagnosed with a fascinating and complex neurological disorder. This experience opened my eyes to neurology's profound impact on individuals and their families. Though I'll save the details for another time, this personal connection fueled my passion for the field.

Reason number three: A memorable encounter with a neurologist during my teenage years left a lasting impression on me. At 14, I had my own neurology consultation. I was captivated by the neurologist I met and the mysterious contents of his leather bag, which he carried everywhere. Fortunately, my neurological issues were resolved by age 16, but my curiosity and admiration for the field remained.

Today, neurology is the most intriguing and exciting field of medicine. Much is yet to be learned and discovered about the brain, the nervous system, and human behavior. Neurology offers a unique blend of complexity and opportunity for growth. In this field, not everything is said or written in stone. There is always room for new discoveries, tools, and a deeper understanding of the brain's role in sensations, behaviors, and feelings.

Perhaps one day, I will contribute to uncovering a new aspect of the brain, adding to the ever-evolving tapestry of neurology. Until then, I remain committed to this fascinating journey, driven by a passion that began with personal experiences and continues to grow with each new patient and discovery.